SPEAKER_00 0:00

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SPEAKER_03 0:11

Hello, friends. I am Cindy Thompson and this is a resilience project. This is a space where stories are shared and possibilities are discovered. I invite you to partner with me in cultivating resilience among humans one conversation at a time. Many of you know that I am a leadership coach as well as a registered clinical counselor. One of the areas of strength that I listen for in working with clients is courage. Courage to step out of your comfort zone, courage to follow your passion, courage to listen to that inner voice that knows that you are made for this. Whatever that dream, inspiration, or goal might be, how uncomfortable are you willing to be in order to see it through? This is the very concept that I think about when introducing today's guest. Alicia Van Canal is one of these people who knew she was created for something meaningful. It is because of this dream that she was willing to move to Nicaragua Central America. Some of us might ignore that little voice inside of us, while others race wholeheartedly towards that passion. Alicia knew two things for sure. She wanted to be a teacher and she wanted to teach internationally. Now, here's the tricky part. Even though we follow that path that we seem predestined to pursue, it does not necessarily mean that it will be easy or without challenges. In fact, that path may cause you to question your decision and wonder if somehow you misunderstood that calling. Often, it is because of these experiences and adversities that we might realize it is where some of our greatest growth occurred. At the time of her applying to teach overseas, Alicia had recently graduated from the education program. She had a goal but no idea what was to come. Little did Alicia know she would face personal and emotional obstacles such as depression, cultural and ethical adversities, and political unrest. What does one do when even the Canadian Embassy has left the country? Reflecting on these early teaching experiences and how they have prepared her to work in the Yukon as an elementary school teacher, Alicia continues to walk along students, families, and community members that are on their own journey towards resilience. So here is my conversation with Alicia. Alicia, thank you so much for being here with me to have a conversation on a resilience project. Thanks for having me. It's a privilege for sure. I just love that I get to hear from real human beings who have a story to tell and to be able to draw on some of your lived experiences that our listeners might be able to glean some wisdom from. You're a teacher, and as you were completing your teaching education, you just knew that you wanted to do some work overseas.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Yeah, and actually, even before, I think I was four years old when I knew I wanted to be a teacher, and then that transformed from, you know, whatever activities I was in at the time, whether dance teacher when I took dance or piano teacher when I took piano. And then at 16, I knew that I wanted to do international teaching of some sort.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

It's fascinating because although lots of kids maybe say they want to do this or that, but I don't think it's that common that that thread continues throughout your early development to be such a strong theme. So it sounds like it's obviously been a calling for you. Yeah, 100%. What did you see or hear? Was there a teacher that inspired you? What was it about teaching that drew you to that field?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I mean, I definitely had teachers that I wanted to emulate and that were inspiring, but I think more than anything, and continues to be the case now, is that I love learning. You know, a lot of teachers will say they teach because they love kids, and not that I don't. But I think the primary reason that I is that I love learning, whether that was throughout school, I loved school. And even now as a teacher, I love seeing that spark and seeing that curiosity and seeing that passion for just new ideas and creativity and some of those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

Nice. And that's maybe part of the secret as a teacher is to help kids get that spark for learning. Because some kids are just showing up at school because that's what they're told they have to do, while others have a natural curiosity about life. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, nice. As you graduated, you started on your career, and after a year or so, you ended up going to Nicaragua.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah. So my first year out of university, I was hoping to be somewhere already, and it just wasn't working out. So I did a maternity leave contract for a year in Canada, and that was exactly as it should have been because I got some of those skills and experiences and even support and background and all of the fun that goes with your first year teaching in a more familiar setting, and worked with some teachers that had taught me growing up and having that year before jumping into international experience was key, even though that wasn't how I had intended it. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Yeah, sometimes what we think we need isn't what we need quite yet. Yeah. So tell me about moving to Nicaragua and what you discovered as you started your career there.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Oh, I mean, there were so many pieces of discovery career-wise, as well as discovering just life and self and purpose and identity, and all of those kinds of big things that kind of came to light all within one another, right? So I think the first thing that probably hit was just the discovering of more stark differences to different cultures and different ideas in Canada, but then when you become the minority and a whole new language and a whole new way of interacting and the expectations and the language and not being able to advocate for yourself. Like I didn't know how do I go about becoming a resident? What do I need to make sure I do so that I can stay in the country? Where is my next meal going to come from? Is it safe for me to eat? Pretty powerless, really, which was an unfamiliar feeling for me.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Great point. So you're really taking yourself out of your comfort zone and being dropped into a whole other culture, other way of doing things, different language. Did you have some supports around you, other teachers that maybe took you under their wing and helped you navigate some of those pieces?

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Yeah, the school itself was really great in having whether it was a person assigned to helping with some of the immigration process, paperwork. We're really intentional about setting up a dinner party for the new teachers. It was also really tough, too, in that in that kind of community, they see really high turnover. And so there was a pretty stark guardedness, too, that was immediately evident and understandable, but hard for that new person that is trying to make those connections. And everybody else is, well, are you staying for three months? Are you staying for six? Are you staying for a year? Because we know you're probably not here forever. So yeah, like I say, fair, but tough to come into as well.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Yeah. So people are maybe holding back a little bit, not fully embracing that you're going to be there, we're going to make a good connection, we're going to be in each other's lives for a while. Do you want to speak to that? Because that sounds important about the turnover and maybe the conditions or the elements that were hard that would have led people to leave and have a high turnover rate.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

I mean, some of it's just life circumstances back in home countries, right? Whether an elderly parent gets sick or there's not medical services as it's a developing country. And so some people would have to return to the states or wherever else to seek medical care for children or themselves. And as well as just there's pretty quick burnout when you are trying to be there to serve and to make an impact, and yet you're kind of bombarded every day with death and poverty, and the political climate there is really challenging. And also just, yeah, those culture changes of not speaking the language fluently and not having the foods that are comforting, and just all of those other pieces that you don't necessarily recognize, but all kind of pile and build upon one another until it's not sustainable anymore. And then people do come and go. And some people intend on being there for a lifetime and are, but they definitely figure out some of those tricks to making it sustainable and healthy for themselves.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah, so maybe part of it is figuring out what you need to make it sustainable, to navigate those challenges, but also getting your head around the stark differences and the cultural elements that you wouldn't be familiar with. What were the biggest challenges for you personally in making that shift from Canada to Nicaragua to start teaching there?

SPEAKER_01 10:19

I think a big part of it was I felt just a disconnect from community. As especially my first year went on, I felt a growing distance between my friends and family here in Canada, but also a lack of connection just because it's early on and you don't have those deep relationships with people in Nicaragua yet. And even again, the language barrier makes it feel like a looming impossibility to even begin to make those deeper connections. And you know, I could communicate to get my point across well enough after a fairly short amount of time, but I really like those deep conversations, and my Spanish was not up to par to enter into some of those conversations or to let the dinner table conversation just run and me be able to keep up with it. So that was definitely a really big one. I was immediately overwhelmed too, with just how huge seeing, like I say, the government and the dictatorship, and well, how are you ever going to surmount that? Um, or the poverty and the generations of struggle and driving to school on a daily basis and seeing death so close to you is not a circumstance that we encounter often here. I myself don't know how and can't do much of it on my own.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

You know, that sounds like a fair statement because you're being bombarded by all the stark differences and some pretty big ones, like you mentioned death, even as you're going to school in the morning. And at the same time, not getting your cup filled up in the ways that you need it. And you talked about some key points that are important in resilience, community and connection, and being able to have those conversations, which wouldn't have been easy just to feel like you're part of that community.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah, for sure. I have some sensory processing stuff, and so again, in Canada, you can kind of close your bedroom window and have a calm space, but there you'd go home and you could smell the sewage in the street, and you could hear the cows next door. And the houses were kind of one on top of another, and you could smell the tortillas being made and hear the TVs blaring from the house beside you. And there was no real escape, which was really challenging for me as well. That I didn't feel like, yeah, that cup could be refilled before the next day started.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned that because these are the individual differences as to how we cope. And so that would have been one of yours that you couldn't just escape all of the stimulation, all that was going on, whether it was at the end of your school day, it was around you everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. You were there in Nicaragua for three years, Alicia, and I can hear when you mentioned burnout, was there a point where you realized you were starting to burnout, or were there enough good things as you settled in to actually start filling your cup as you got to know people, know people in the community, maybe develop a bit of connection there? Was it a balance for a while where you were still overstimulated but getting your cup filled?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Kind of. The first year was okay. It was a huge growing opportunity, a huge learning curve, but I was able to maintain it. And I think in retrospect, I wasn't managing it appropriately. But as I think one of my roommates had said at the time, you can do anything for a year. And we were just kind of surviving. And then it was my second year that there were some warning flags, again, more in retrospect than anything else. And then it hit really, really hard and really, really fast in about October of my second year. So that was when I realized, oh, these coping mechanisms were not sufficient or were not healthy anyway.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

Can I ask what the flags were for you that you were starting to notice?

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Yeah, so I had an um an assistant in my classroom whose only language was Spanish. And most of our assistants spoke both English and Spanish, so it was fairly easy to communicate, and she didn't have a word of English. And she had mentioned to one of the other staff members that she didn't know how long she could continue at our school because she felt so alone and unseen. And that hit a really sore spot for me because that was one of my deepest desires is to care for the people within my classroom walls. And she wasn't a student, but she was just as important to me as they were. And so I took that really, really hard. And so then I tried to compensate. And I like a plan and a like action list, right? And so it was like, okay, I need to pour more into Spanish, I need to pour more into tangibly loving her, and so trying to give her these tokens of my appreciation and trying to connect with her more deeply. And there was this thought that I did recognize of I need to do more and just worked harder at that. And so we would invite people very intentionally over once a week to have supper. And all of these things were okay in theory, but it was why I was doing them and to what extent I was doing them, that they were impossible goals to meet, but that just kind of continued that cycle of just disappointment and self-hatred and discouragement and doubt and all of that.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Yeah, and I can hear that's a human approach to things at times. If we just work harder at things, maybe we can get past it or get better at it. And yet that just drains our tank even further. Yeah. And so at the same time, you were just trying to pour more out, but weren't getting your tank filled up in those ways necessarily. Yeah. You realized you were maybe starting to hit that wall about late fall, that second year. What kind of strategies did you start to put in place that might have helped you shift there?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I mean, at first there was nothing, like for months on end, it was really bad. And I didn't really have any strategies to fall back on. I had moved growing up every two to five years as a kid. So had kind of those things to rely on of like, how do you make new friends? How do you fit yourself into a new school? And most of that was based on trying to connect with people and trying to show them they're appreciated and all of those things that had failed. And so then I had nothing. And so I didn't really know where to go for several months. I suppose it would have been probably May that same year before one of my roommates said, after a couple of months, probably, this isn't just a week of feeling sad. This isn't just a few days of hard. This is a big deal, and we need to address this. And so there was one English-speaking counselor in the whole country. So she carded me off, but it was still like it was so far gone by that point that it took a lot of kind of backtracking and just getting kind of regulated again because like I wasn't eating and I wasn't sleeping and I wasn't getting out of bed. But then certainly by May, there was a little bit more of a toolbox being built of okay, going forward, what can that look like? And not that I didn't do them before, but maybe just wasn't as intentional in how I practice them, like journaling and writing, for example. I enjoy doing, but I was able to use that and extend it into whether it was like different prompts that I could use or really trying to dig deeper into my mental health and spiritual health, a little bit of a different direction than I had used in the past. So kind of taking that grounding and then going with it.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Well, what stood out for me, Alicia, is you knew that you love to write and yet it wasn't coming to you intuitively. And sometimes we already have that wisdom inside of us that somewhere in our life we might remember then that I used to do this, and that always maybe helped. But you've raised a good point also around we do what we know. And so you needed some more tools, you needed some more strategies because you'd already exhausted what you had at that time in your toolkit, and that maybe through counseling, talking it through, coming up with some more intentional practices, you were able to start to shift the mood and feel a little stronger.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yeah. Something that really helped was stories, and maybe some of that comes from being a teacher. And I love reading stories to the kids, but I also really, really connected with hearing other people's stories. The power that comes in the sharing and the receiving, like I always feel you're not alone in this, in something that does feel very isolating. I am the only one who's struggling with this, and we go that way when we're struggling with depression and anxiety, right? And so to hear stories, whether from friends around me or online and people in the community that I already knew and strangers that were willing to share their stories was hugely powerful for me. I guess the last one that was really important to me was rest. And I started the practice of one day a week that I was encouraged to make a rule for that day. And because I am a planner and a rule follower, that worked very well for me. And I knew that if I had a rule, I wouldn't break it. My rule was just I will do nothing that doesn't bring my soul joy, and I will do anything that does. And I was hugely intentional about maintaining that one day because some weeks it meant that I needed to be around people and I wanted to go out with friends and do something. And other weeks it was that I'm going to lounge around and read a book. And some days it was go for a run, but other weeks that might feel like a chore to go for a run. So I allowed a lot of flexibility, but really maintaining the necessity of that 24 hours for just me.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

That is good wisdom right there. And we often pride ourselves on being busy. There's always things to be done. But I can hear that in giving yourself full permission to have at least one day gave you a chance to regroup and do something that was filling that cup again. Yeah, for sure. And I love that you've listened to your intuition too. What do I feel like today? It's not that I have to go for a run every time I have that day. That's not always what I do. But just sitting and assessing what would be the thing I want to do today.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Yeah, because it does vary hugely.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Yeah, and that's good. I do think we need a variety of practices because it may not. Just be the first three things. It may be a few different things that you might need. Not every time do you want to visit with people, you might need to regroup and just have some Alicia time. In other days, you might feel like connecting and having some intentional visiting. Yeah. The second year was a huge time of learning, and you now hit a wall to some degree and were figuring out that what you were doing needed to be revamped. So you started to develop some more intentional practices. Tell me what that did to shift the energy for you.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, I mean, I think overall I just had a deeper awareness. And it was as simple as that, as well as powerful as that, that I hadn't really considered kind of where these big things like my identity or my purpose was coming from. And then to try and backtrack and figure out where this had come from, why this had happened, I had to look at those pieces, as well as just the awareness of what those kind of warning flags were, to be able to prevent them in the future from hopefully ending up as bad as it had. To process those things, then did give me that awareness going forward that I can recognize and kind of value where it's at on a day-to-day basis. So that was definitely a big part of it for sure.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

And Alicia, how old would you have been at this time by the time you were in your second year of teaching? 21. Yeah, so still pretty young. Like I think about who we are at 21. And the 20s are a huge time of growth and learning, as I'm sure you can attest to, even going to Nicaragua, that our life experience so far might have been somewhat protected and we wouldn't have had these kinds of challenges. So we're still figuring out what we need. And at 21, people are still wanting to prove they're pretty independent. They can handle it, they can move to Nicaragua and start a career over there and handle whatever comes along. Absolutely. What wisdom would you have to offer others who might be starting to notice those flags?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I'd say a big part of it for me was that idea of you're going to be presented with all of these things, whether encountered, coming into an encounter with them or through other people's lives and stories, that you're trying to walk alongside or brushing up against, or like they're going to be there. What would have been really helpful for me is to know that I don't have to accept them. There's no real value in taking them on, even. I can walk alongside it and in it without having to accept it.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Yeah. So that was some of the helplessness you were experiencing and things you were seeing around you.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 24:59

Yeah, that you struggled with that might be in conflict with your values, how you want to treat people, how you were seeing people being treated. Yeah. Yeah. So I can appreciate that those are big ones for people to wrestle with and trying to focus in on the things you have control over while letting go of the things you can't change in that moment. And that must be hard when you see it all around you.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah, definitely. I mean, when that's the motivation to be doing what you're doing too, and you feel like you're coming against a wall, or it's such a minimal impact that what's the point?

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Yeah. Well, you're a teacher. You want to see change. Yeah. So would you give our listeners a bit of an idea of some things you were wrestling with that you saw that were in conflict with your values, things that just weren't sitting well with your soul?

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Uh it was from every avenue. So as I had mentioned, the government is a dictatorship. We were driving home one night from the market, I think, and were pulled over by the police. And they'll just stand kind of on the edge of the street and they'll wave you over. And they would often do that to us as expats because they noticed our light skin and knew that we would have money to pay the bribe. And so that was an immediate kind of confrontation with who I know to be the police and the government trying to figure out it's 7 p.m. and we're stuck in downtown Managua, we're two young girls. What choice do we have? But if we're paying this bribe, we're feeding into this system. So where does that leave us? Or as I mentioned, driving to school and seeing death from an accident on the side of the road or something that had happened overnight and hadn't been cleaned up, or how money can buy your place in the line, or whatever that may be, right? As well as just the injustice of poverty and kind of what that looks like for my neighbor when I have this and they don't. And they're certainly working longer hours than I am, and they have no inherent lesser worth than I do, but it's because of where they were born. And that was another aspect. Every element of every day you were trying to put these two worlds together, and all that I believed wasn't what I was seeing in reality.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Yeah, fair enough. Well, and I'm imagining as a young 20-something going over to Nicaragua, you would have had some ideals that you would hope to make a difference there. And I can almost hear the longer you were there, how you were getting more and more discouraged by what you perceived was not really making a difference because the system was so big. Yeah. And yet you were still making a difference in the lives of those young children you were working with. It's just a slow process. You just have them for a year and you had an opportunity to impact them every day there.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah, I had one mom who came to our first parent teacher conference and started crying. And I didn't understand Spanish at the time, so I didn't know what she was telling me. But then my assistant translated and said, she's just so glad to hear that her son's doing well because she had to choose which of her children she thought would be most able to succeed in school. This was the son that she placed in school, so she's so relieved to hear that he's doing well. I don't know what to do with that because I couldn't wrap my head around having to choose which child to send to school. And that's the child that I have in my class. What a weight to carry, right?

SPEAKER_03 28:49

No pressure.

unknown 28:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:52

Yeah, holy. Well, and things we take for granted here. Things that they have to choose there are so much bigger. So in your writing, you mentioned that that became an outlet for you. Tell me about your blog that you started.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Honestly, the blog was more the way of communicating just through picture and story to my friends and family at home, so that there was a little bit of understanding. Because that was the other piece when you would come back. People don't really know how to talk to you or what to ask, or, you know, oh, you're not as tanned as I thought you would be, was the most common one. And they don't understand. And you're processing so much. And this is a place that's become home and become your whole heart. That was what the blog was more than anything. But I did really struggle with how to show the reality and balance, being thankful and showing the best of this place that I loved and these people that I was coming to love, as well as showing the hard. And I'm not sure I ever really achieved that. As far as just like letting the writing flow was definitely more in personal journals and books and things like that that I did, more so than the blog.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Well, and I love the piece where you included like never would I ever thought. And there was quite a few interesting pieces on there that really surprised you. Do you have a few of those examples in front of you that you remember?

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Oh, never would I ever have thought I would go to the movie theaters just to have two hours of air conditioning or have water streaming out of my electrical sockets overnight, or get to go on a field trip with my students through a cloud forest to the peak of a volcano. So I would always include interesting cultural ones like that, as well as like in my second year, I wrote, I think never would I ever have thought I could hurt so deeply and heal so completely and struggle so fully. But yeah, I tried to do that at the end of each year, and I thought that it would get harder. You run out of ideas after three years, and it didn't. There was always a huge list.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

No shortage of material.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

No.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

And I can hear the spectrum of the complexities, but also the really cool moments that you will hang on to it now that are part of your story that you got to experience, I'm sure that you're grateful for. And unfortunately, sometimes have to go through the discomfort and the complexity and hard parts in order to experience those other sides. Yeah, absolutely. Let's jump to the third year. And I'll let you tell it because I think it's really important this next part of the challenge that you had to endure.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

My third year, I had switched grades and was much healthier. I moved homes. I was living with a really, really supportive family, and in a beautiful little nook, I was able to have some quiet time at home and be around people who were really supportive and kind of that fresh slate. And the year was going really well. I was feeling really healthy. And then in February, there was an incident that had happened that I just was not okay with ethically, and was kind of asked to turn a little bit of a blind eye because it was considered a part of the machismo culture, that idea of boys will be boys. And that's how this culture functions. And again, kind of that butting up of this is not what I know to be true and right and good, and that may be true of the culture, but I'm not sure that I can be implicit in it. And I need the people that I advocate for to know that I will always advocate for them. I really, really struggled with the decision of what that would look like: of do I continue so that I can try and continue to advocate and support, or do I need to step back so that, you know, I can write a letter and say this is why I'm leaving, and maybe this would prevent a future incident if it's made clear how big of a deal that it is to me. And so that was the decision that I finally settled on. And so that was in February, and I felt a lot of peace about that decision. I was okay with it. I wasn't happy about it per se, but I was okay with it. Then my last semester, you know, kind of started to work towards thinking through paying last visits to some of the schools that I had worked with and being able to say goodbye and have some closure and making that bucket list of those things you want to do before you leave the country. And then April 19th, the country unexpectedly erupted into civil unrest. And so we had to send the students home right away before the school day had even ended. We got them on the buses, called the parents to get them picked up because we didn't know if the roads would be clear or safe if we delayed until the end of the school day. We tried to go back to school a couple of times after that, in the month that followed. And I don't know that we ever made it through a full school day. Kids would show up and we would have more of a counseling session than a school day because you'd have to kind of unwrap what they had seen on the bus ride to school and what they were experiencing at home being is very similar to COVID, where it's you feel isolated and the kids are powerless and stuck at home, and their daily routines are disrupted and they're just confused and isolated and everything else. May 19th, we called the school year again, kind of unexpectedly, and that was that. And so I had 24 hours to pack up my classroom and get out. The embassy was already gone. I didn't realize that. The Canadian Embassy, the US Embassy are the first ones out of the country when something bad happens.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

So I didn't know that either. You mean well, you're thinking they're there for you, but they've left.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

So how scared were you? You know, it was shocking how quickly it became normal. It was a little scary, kind of that first week where, you know, you go into the grocery store, and even if you were there an hour before it opened, lined up around the building, by the time you got in, the shelves were all empty, and then people would start to break windows in the middle of the night to try and get into the stores. And the police station down the street from us was lit on fire and went up in flames, and you'd fall asleep to mortar fire, and you could see all of this happening around you in your community. Yeah. So then you left once the school year was called.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Yeah. Yeah. So what was that like to leave and not get to say goodbye or have closure at that time?

SPEAKER_01 36:09

It was awful. But like I say, I had 24 hours. So I at least got to see the people that I lived with, and then I had to go to the school to clean out my classroom. And so I ran into some of the staff members while I was there. And one of the local ladies who I was really close with had said, I wish you all the best. You can just leave. We can't. And she didn't mean it to be heartbreaking, but it was absolutely devastating. Like, yeah, what's wrong with me in the midst of all of this? I do have that privilege where I can go back to Canada and I never have to come back. But there were thousands of people who fled the country, but there were thousands more who couldn't. And these people who I knew by name and knew their families and their circumstances were saying, we can't leave. And yeah, not being able to say goodbye to your students who you've spent three years with.

SPEAKER_03 37:01

And that's important for the students as well to have closure with you and be able to say goodbye. Those are all important pieces in terms of even resilience and helping to process our grief or process an ending of something. And so in the midst of the chaos, I can hear those were important elements, but everybody was just coping the best that they could in the moment. Yeah. Alicia, you are now a teacher in the Yukon. And tell me in what you learned there and how much you would have grown and discovered about yourself. What have you brought forward to your teaching today or who you are today that have been key components in your resiliency practice?

SPEAKER_01 37:44

I think the idea that some days are sufficient, that I've done what I can do and now I'm going home. And yeah, it may not have been my best day or it wasn't the world's greatest, but I did what I can do, and that's enough. And enough is enough. So that's been pretty huge because also in the Yukon we come up against a lot of socioeconomic circumstances that are heartbreaking to see these little seven-year-olds struggling through that I don't and haven't felt completely undone by it, as I would have and did in Nicaragua. And that idea of enough. And I've also carried forward those practices of my 24 hours of this is mine, and I guard it pretty carefully. And I think too, just that day-by-day learning and growth, both for myself and my students, of like if we can walk together through this and in this, then that's enough, too, that we're here to learn and we're here to grow and whatever that looks like. And even that practice of like stories and story listening, too. That I've tried to hold on to that and what that meant to me in those darkest days of how can I keep that instead of the go-to fixing and just hold these stories and remember how that was one of the most powerful things that was done for me and with me. Um, that it's nothing really too big to ask. Um, and so then I undervalue the role that it plays.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

A final question that just came to mind is I'm wondering if there was anything in the people of Nicaragua or in Whitehorse that you have learned from in their practices that have imparted some of their wisdom of resilience onto you.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

Oh, absolutely. I mean, obviously, with my kind of target age group, is the kids. So it's primarily they've been the teachers. I mean, in Nicaragua, there's such a social community that like people are first. Time isn't if you have an appointment at one, but somebody is having a great lunch with you, that's first, not the appointment. And that's so foreign to my knowledge of it. And just the space that they held for people was really stretching, but also really good for me, especially in that place. And the kids' willingness to forgive and joy to love and just goodness towards people was really, really, really great. And then in the Yukon, I'd say both that connection to the land as well as the story, too, right? The traditions and the space that's held and the sacredness that goes along with storytelling, if nothing else, just affirms and is a delight to see and experience as well.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Beautiful. Well, that goes right along with the resilience project, is hearing people's stories. And so I really appreciate your drawing that out because I agree a hundred percent. There's so much value in hearing one another's stories and just sitting and having time and community and to learn through those experiences. So that's awesome. I'm wondering if there's any other pieces of resilience practice that you wanted to share.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

I'm really thankful for, especially that season, because as much as it wasn't enjoyable, it was really important. And that idea of patience and perseverance and empathy and all of that, it's hard in the moment to see that. It is a gift, and so that resilience, too, is all of that comes from those places, and we won't get them without. And so that being brought to nothingness kind of gives you the everythingness.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

So good, so good. I just love that. That was so good. Oh, thanks.

SPEAKER_03 42:06

Yeah, love it. Alicia, I just want to say that I appreciate your vulnerability. I appreciate that you would be willing to share your story of growth because I hope that listeners will hear your story, that they'll remember that staying in our safe little bubble isn't going to give us that growth. I hear that there is so much good that can come from learning about ourselves, challenging ourselves, getting out of our comfort zone, but also looking around and learning from those around us, even in another culture. There's a lot to be learned. And even though it may be different, but maybe there's something we could be taking away from the people themselves. With that, I so appreciate you would be here to have this conversation and share your story with our listeners.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Yeah, thank you so much for holding that space.

SPEAKER_03 42:58

Absolutely. It's my pleasure. Although there are many definitions and contexts of courage, I like to think courage means heart, to follow your heart. Alicia loves to learn. She loves school, and as a result, knew she wanted to help children discover their spark for learning. As you heard Alicia unpack her experiences in Nicaragua, you could sense the transformation that was incurring. I love the reference that you can do anything for a year. We do what we know, and the tendency is to work harder, not necessarily wiser. Unfortunately, like many of us, we must hit that wall before we realize that we need further coping skills. Life has a way of slowing us down even when we resist. What once helped Alicia in the many family moves was not enough to walk her through these new challenges. Once she reached out for help within the community, met with a counselor, and began building her toolkit, she was no longer just maintaining but managing her stress. One of Alicia's pieces of wisdom that stood out for me was the recognition that you can't always expect adversities such as those that challenge our moral compass and values, but you can walk alongside it and in it without having to accept it. That's powerful. As Alicia suggested, she could not have anticipated that she would hurt so deeply and yet heal so completely. So here are some of Alicia's intentional practices. Number one would be journaling or writing. Perhaps it is using the writing in a new way. This can be through guided journaling questions, or I might even suggest keeping a journal of what's going well. What have you been learning about yourself? It might be really interesting to look back on that and what you've been learning and growing on. Number two, there is power in sharing and receiving with others. When you're vulnerable and willing to share your challenges, others may also be willing to process their experiences and be vulnerable with you. Sometimes it turns out that others are feeling just like yourself. Rest, taking one day a week to only do the things that bring your soul joy. Love that. It's hard to do though. Also, to know when you have done enough in a day, not working until you are at the point of exhaustion. Many of us just try to pack everything in in a day and thinking that we will just get ahead, but really you just tire yourself out. Alicia also spoke of walking in these experiences together, and that through this you're also learning together. Of course, I'm a big fan of this next one: holding space for stories and storytelling. What might you learn from one another as you share your stories? Also being thankful and capturing your gratitude along the way. I also wanted to be sure to mention something that Alicia said that could sum up this conversation. Sometimes being brought to nothingness gives you the everythingness. In the words of Carl Jung, we meet ourselves time and again in thousand disguises on the path of life. I am curious, what has surprised you most of the many transformations you have already experienced? Thank you for listening to this episode of a resilience project. We would not be doing this podcast without you. If you or someone you know has an inspirational story or is helping to build resilience in their community, please email me at cindy at a resilienceproject.com. In fact, email me either way. I would love to hear from you. My hope is to feature an episode periodically on your letters of resilience. I'm very interested in hearing your story of how you have tackled hard things and what worked for you. With your permission, I hope to share some of these stories along the way with our listeners. Also, check out my website, arresilienceproject.com to learn more about our amazing guests. Your presence here is important because together we are cultivating a village of resilient individuals. You are creating a space for their stories to be shared and a sacred space for learning to occur. I also have a favor. I would love for you to go to your preferred podcast platform, rate, and review the podcast so that we will know how we're doing. I also would like to express my gratitude to the amazing team of volunteers that have jumped on board to support this project. You will find each of those beautiful people on my website on the team page. As you go about this week, I invite you to think about one way that you can continue to grow your resilient muscle. What is one thing you can start with today? See you next week.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

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